the one with a “catch-up” part 2
What are we up to now? September?
September 2022
September included many good memories. Donnie had been here almost three months and Mom celebrated a birthday! Her 78? I’ve never been good with numbers so I could be wrong here. And Devin LOVES cooking breakfast for her and he celebrated the morning with a great breakfast!
We also took Kalyn to breakfast one morning. And mornings are HARD for this family. It takes a while for Mom to get up and get moving. She has to start with hours in advance because her heart and lungs need time to adjust after sleep. There’s medicine to take, ointments to aid with nasal passages. There’s a lot. And she was doing it all herself at this point. Kalyn turned 29 and we all went to brunch and then her house after for cake. It’s great getting family all together.
Patio sitting was a HUGE part of her life, always has been and we found a litter of kittens and Mom helped me bottle feed them and nurse them back to health. It was quite time consuming but fun all the same. They definitely bonded to all of us and they were a fun way to take a nap in the sun, that was for sure!
Donnie was enjoying life at Crown Pointe. Mom would drive up almost every other day and spend time with him. I would go and pick him up for appointments, shopping, deliveries, etc. He fit in well with the people there and always lent a helping hand to those in need. He started a weekly Bible Study and just enjoyed his life. I was very happy he was taking it so nicely. I know they both missed their home on the river, but I was very thankful they were here where we could take care of them, make memories with them, enjoy them. And a part of me? I was getting to know my step-dad in a way I never had before. It was very healing and good for me. I always blamed him for taking my mother away from me. The short time he lived in Texas, I worked through that and got to know him, them, and enjoyed them both.
I also got to know my Mom even better. She’s funny! I didn’t think so growing up, but she’s so funny! We would always make each other laugh several times a day and discuss anything and everything about ALL THE THINGS. It was great! I will forever be thankful for the 2 years of my life that I got to know my Mom intensely, immensely, THANKFUL. She quickly became my best friend.
Over patio sitting we started discussing the future. Like what needed to be done now that they were here, together. Donnie was asking for “his things”, the stuff in his cabin and he has lists. So we started planning a trip. I would take mom to California and we would go through the cabin and get all the things out of the cabin that were of value and make plans long term about what to do. Lots of discussions, lots of planning.
YUBA YONDER 2022 was planned. We would fly into Sacramento and rent a car and make our way to the cabin and take it bit by bit to go through it and handle things. We rented a car, stayed in a nearby town, since we couldn’t stay at the cabin, and took it day by day.
It was a good trip! We shipped back things, boxed things up and stored them, packed duffel bags to check as bags ALL THE THINGS. Lots of laughter as well!
In a photography class one time, the instructors said to “include the hands if at all possible in all your work. They are a connection to the subject and the viewer that is immensely emotional and powerful. They were right. I could recognize her hands anywhere. By September!
October 2022
October for me, always means home cooking. The days get shorter and the darkness sets in. I wanna watch sports on the TV and cook for my family. I was constantly looking for ways to add protein to mom’s diet. Constantly researching things that would bring her energy and help her rather than the goodies we all love that do nothing but help emotionally. It’s a fine balance because the simple act of eating took energy. And digestion as well. You don’t think about those things when you have oxygen levels adequate in your body. I needed to power punch her lunches and dinners with things that were easy to digest, helped her stay healthy and didn’t cause digestion problems. She loved this tomato basil soup and I would fix a mean grilled cheese to go with it. One of her favorites for lunch!
It was still nice enough weather for games on the patio. She loved playing games!
The baby kittens were thriving as well!
This was a good day!
We hosted an engagement party for Dalton and Kathleen and Bridgette had a new puppy so momma puppy sat! It was so cute when they fell asleep together. Momma always had a dog for as long as I can remember. So good to animals. Devin is not a fan of any animal in the house so this was a treat!
I bought a juicer and thought this would be a good way to get nutrition into her body in an easy way. I was wrong. Looking back I realized what a struggle it was for her to simply go to the bathroom. Drinking juice sure makes you go the bathroom a lot. It was taking more energy from her body than simply chewing. So, we stopped that. She hated to ask for help. Always felt like she was “putting us out”. Of course, we wanted her here! But I’m sure I would feel the same way if the situation was reversed.
Oh, gosh! I hadn’t even talked about the lemons! Mom LOVED, ADORED lemons. She would eat them whole and any time we were out to eat, she would take your lemon from your water glass. Asking first of course. I think that’s why she loved the color yellow!
October was busy! We had Sausagefest and Halloween! And ball games and just life in general. I was busy with photography and busy with our family. Devin and Momma spent a lot of time together. I’m so thankful for that. They would talk and talk and talk. He misses her because I don’t talk enough apparently. I need to pray about that and try harder to work on that. It would help if the man would get home before 11 PM at night. Geez…
I’ll end October with a glimpse of who crashed the Halloween Party! gosh, I’ve got some good friends!
November 2022
A funny story about my step-dad. He had a hearing aid doctor that was beautiful and very nicely dressed. She was very pleasant and he would tease her and loved going to his monthly visits. They fitted him with ear pieces and they had to be calibrated each visit because they would see how much you were wearing them and when and for what activity. Of course he knew this but forgot about it and one visit, got severely busted. She wasn’t very pleasant with him that visit and basically said he was wasting her time. Oh, that was a fun day! When she asked him how many hours a day he was wearing them, he kind of mumbled a bit and said a vague time limit and she put her hands on her hips and told him EXACTLY how much time and he just made a face a laughed.
I stil have those hearing aids in a box in storage. Gosh, I may keep them forever just to remember that look on his face. Me a photographer and I missed the look. Geez…
I would host meetings at my house and Mom simply stayed in her bedroom. She didn’t mind, she could always come out and visit and many times she did. But it was easy. Mom made things super easy. And her attitude was always supreme! Sure, she had her bad days and we would talk it out. Life was hard. It is for everyone.
For the most part? It was so so good.
November flew by! We decided we would fly to see family for Thanksgiving. And we did! Great trip! We flew into Long Beach, CA, which is where my sister lives and enjoyed the week with her family.
Such a fun time! You may notice that all these photos are taken with my iPhone. I put my camera down on trips with mom. It was too difficult to push a wheelchair, carry oxygen and keep up with camera gear. I’m only slowly grabbing it now, (I’m writing this in June of 2024) for family get togethers and trips. I miss it. I’ll speak more on this later, but it’s been hard to grab it and not feel pain, or sadness really. I know I have to go through that. It’s part of grieving, but when you a wedding to plan, work to do, I just couldn’t. Shooting with an iPhone removes you more from the intimacy of the gathering. It simply does.
December 2022
December came in strong. I had several weddings, everyone wants family pictures, we were making Christmas Plans and David, my FIL was turning 80. This means another family trip. And Momma was coming along for the ride! Just tons of fun in December and I of course, did not pick up my camera like I needed to.
I would stay up late editing photos. I have BIG picture windows to my left and we had a visitor every evening after midnight. We left food out for the kittens and they would be asleep but HELLO! This raccoon came every night to steal their food, get it wet and run away. Quite the site!
I mostly took video for this Famiy gathering. They take a while to upload or I would upload them here. But can you see the break on that frosting up above? We made the Texas Sheet Cake for David’s Birthday and I’m not sure we ever left the house! It was such a great stay with beautiful views and we LOVED it!
Mom had many doctor’s appointments this month. She would see her pulmonologist, her cardiologist the most. That was who she needed to see. There isn’t much you can do with this disease. It’s basically symptomatically treating it, but since Donnie was back, she was doing much, much better. They continued to monitor her situation and the two communicated very well together.
Christmas was here before you knew it!
I should have taken more photos! I was so tired and so busy, I just couldn’t. But looking back, I wish I would have pushed through the tiredness. I need to see more of her. I remember getting mom a new iPad for Christmas. We were thinking we could give her old one to Donnie and he could find a way to learn more about doing things. We tried and he caught on some, but iPads are hard when you are shaky.
Our Famiy spent NYE’s together in Ft. Worth photographing a wedding. Kalyn’s BF had a fabulous NYE wedding and I got to photograph it! It’s was AWESOME! Such a fun way to end the year!
