the one with 8 years
Eight years ago, our family went to Ruidosa for Sprint Break. Devin’s grandmother was with us and it would be the last time we were all together on a trip like that. We just didn’t know that at the time.
Brooke, Idalee, and Kalyn.
Eight years ago, Kalyn was at the University of Texas, in her first year of college. Brooke, a senior at Prosper High school (and my favorite homecoming queen!!!) Idalee? She was enjoying life as much as possible.
Me? I wasn’t feeling too great. I had missed a dear friend’s birthday party a few weeks before due to a stomach ache and it was still lingering. I was weak, fatigued, and “not myself”. Did you read that? I missed a party! That never happens, I love a good party.
Kanga was expecting her second litter of Pups. Summer Zoe has just finished playing her junior year of basketball. They went pretty far in the playoffs and we even took a trip down to Austin to watch the state playoffs.
I decorated the car of course. My new car because I sold “bling bling” my Denalie. 😩 The Honda Pilot is nice but it was no bling-bling. I still have this Pilot. She now has almost 300K miles.
Taylor, Haley, Jordan and Summer.
We had closed Take One Video and turned it into The Bull Stop. Life was good. Busy but good.
After that trip (and pain in my abdomen) I went to see my doctor and after a few questions, he ordered a colonoscopy. I laughed it off and he didn’t. Said I was close to 50 and I should just get it over with. See what was going on down there. So I did and a few days later, while driving to a bridal session in Midland I got the call that I had cancer.
Eight years ago I was diagnosed with cancer.
It’s a weird thing being told you have cancer. You immediately feel like the wind has been knocked out of you. It’s like a vacuum or a hole has sucked you in and all you can hear is your heart beating and your brain racing.
This is me after surgery.
Everything in my life quickly became a whirlwind. Surgery, chemo for 6 months, followed by radiation. I continued to work and take pictures. Many times I hid my chemo bag under a big baggy sweater. I didn’t like for my clients to know. I wanted to remain strong and still work! That was important to me.
And of course, it was hard. Hard on me and my family. Especially hard on my family. I can still see it on their faces. That’s the part about getting sick that you really don’t like. How it affects everyone around you.
I look back at photos and just wonder who that person was? Sometimes I miss it. Not the treatment but the feeling in my spirit that I had. Somehow I felt immediately closer to God and realized that most of this crap down here doesn’t matter. We are here to love him and our neighbor. Love is truly the greatest gift of all. I try and get that feeling back. That feeling of less flesh and more spirit. I really try.
I look back at this picture and I don’t recognize myself. This was 2 weeks after my tumor was removed. My mom and sister came several times during the next year. I have memories of that and how much I thought we needed to do that more often. My mom had lost her mother during this time, my Granny Helton and it must have been so painful for her to be mourning that loss while taking care of me. I can’t imagine.
I look like Spicoli from Fast Times at Ridgemont High. LOL
I let my hair go. I had to. I wasn’t sure if I would lose it or not during treatment so why get it colored? That’s my mom in the background. (photo above) We lived at Saddleclub during this time.
I photographed 3 proms during this time all in the month of May.
I photographed a wedding or two. With the help of a very dear friend, Kim Anderson and my BFF Toni.
Summer Zoe was still at home, Kalyn Marie a million miles away feeling lonely and worried.
It was scary.
But it was good, too.
I can say that now, looking back.
IT WAS GOOD. God was always there.
Devin even let me take photos of him. WOW! That never happens. HELLO! And my sister (below) was here for a lot of it as well. She would come and stay with me during my treatment weeks. You would get hooked up to the bag of drugs on Monday and take it off on Wednesday. You were pretty much toast on Thursday and maybe by Friday feeling better. She arranged her visits for the “tired” parts.
When your mom has cancer and you are this young, it changes you. You realize just how precious life is and that the stuff that used to matter? It doesn’t anymore. But it also changes you into worrying. That’s the thing that most parents who get cancer hate the most. Your kids worry. Everything you do, sneeze, cough, wince, they worry. Even 8 years later, they still worry.
Kalyn worried as well. She came home that Easter and as much as she could.
You know how busy life is when your kids are in high school. Activities and such. I made sure to be a part of that all I could. I wanted that. I LOVE that!
Eight years ago, I spent a lot of time outside in our pool. (Gosh! I miss that pool!) On the weeks when the “fanny pack” of drugs was off, I would spend as much time outside enjoying my pool. When you have a port “installed” under your skin, they can access it through needles and you don’t have to have an IV or entry way hanging outside your body. So, on the weeks in between treatment, I would swim. A L O T. I highly recommend getting a port. I had mine for years after treatment. I kind of felt it was my good luck charm. Cheesy, I know.
and our family spent a lot of time together.
Eight years ago, despite cancer…WAS FUN. That’s how God works. At the time you are going through the crap, and I was going through literal crap, you can’t see it. You feel the pain and suffering and how it effects your family, but then later, as time gets in between, you forget. And then you realize that life was good. Despite the cancer and the crap, life was good.
It’s still good.
Love Does,
Kristin
PS. To learn more about colon cancer, CLICK HERE.